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ComarvatkMi Rcsomces 
Lig-Frec^ l^jrpe I 



PS 3525 



•national Copyrighted (in England, her 
ind the United States) Edition of the 
. E9 P7 Works of the Best Authors 

Copy 1 

No. 405 



Col- 



■M 



P's and Q's 



A FARCE COMEDY IN ONE A(^T 



By 
ANNIE NATHAN MEYER 



Copyright, 1921, by Annie Nathan Meyer 



S 



PRICE, 30 CENTS 



NEW YORK 

Samuel French 
Publisher 
28-30 West 35th Street" j 



LONDON 
Samuel' French, Ltd. 

26 Southampton Street 
Strand 



1 
i 

^ 

M 

n 

i 



KL^. 



BILLETED. 

A comedy in 3 acts, by F. Tennison Jesse and H. Harwood. 4 males, 
5 females. One easy interior scene. A charming comedy, constructed 
with uncommon skill, and abounds with clever lines. Margaret Anglin's 
big success. Amateurs will find this comedy easy to produce and popular 
with all audiences. Price, 60 Cents. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. 

A comedy in 3 acts. By James Montgomery. 5 males, 6 females. Cos 
tumes, modern. Two interior scenes. Plays 2>< hours. 

Is it possible to tell the absolute truth— even for twenty-four hours? It is- 
at least Bob Bennett, the hero of "Nothing But the Truth," accomplished the 
feat. The bet he made with his business partners, and the trouble he got into— 
with his partners, his friends, and his fiancee— this is the subject of William 
Collier's tremendous comedy hit. "Nothing "But the Truth" can be whole-heartedly 
recommended as one of the most sprig^htly, amusing and popular comedies that 
this country can boast. _ Price, 60 Cents. 



I 



IN WALKEb JIMMY. 



A comedy in 4 acts, by Minnie Z. Jaffa. 10 males. 2 females (a 
any number of males and females may be used as clerks, et<;' 
interior scenes. Costumes, modern. Plays 2^ hours. The tl 
which Jimmy walked was a broken-down shoe factory, when U.. 
had all been fired, and when the proprietor was in serious contemplaii. 
of suicide. 

Jimmy, nothing else but plain Jimmy, would have been a mysterious figure 
had it not been for his matter-of-fact manner, his smile and his everlasting 
liumanness. He put the shoe business on its feet, won the heart of the girl 
clerk, saved her erring brother from jail, escaped that place as a permanent 
hoarding house himself, and foiled the villain. 

Clean, wholesome comedy with just a touch of human nature, just a dash of 
excitement and more than a little bit of true philosophy make "In Walked Jimmy" 
one of the most delightful of plays. Jimmy is full of the religion of life, the 
religion of happiness and the religion of helpfulness?, and he so permeates the 
atmosphere with his "religion'* that everyone is happy. The spirit of optimism, 
good cheer, and hearty laughter dominates the play. There is not a dull moment 
in any of the four acts. We strongly recommend it. Price, 60 Cents. 

MARTHA BY-THE-DAY. 

An optimistic comedy in three acts, by Julie M. Lippmann, author of 
the "Martha" stories. 5 males. 5 females. Three interior scenes. Cos- 
tumes modern. Plays 2^ hours. 

It is altogether a gentle thing, this play. It is full of quaint humor, old- 
fashioned, homely sentiment, the kind that people who see the play will recall 
and chyckle over tomorrow and the next day. 

Miss Lippmann has herself adapted her very successful book for stage service, 
and in doing this has selected from her novel the most telling incidents, infectious 
comedy and homely sentiment for the play, and the result is thoroughly delightful. - 

Price, 60 Cents, 



(The Above Are Si|biect-;to Royalty When Produced) 

FEB I2i|92l 



ftnt0 Txnti I 






THE TOUCH-DOWN. 

A comedy in four acts, by Marion Short. S males, 6 females, but any 
number of characters can be introduced in the ensembles. Costumes mod- 
ern. One interior scene throughout the play. Time, 2]^ hours. 

This play, written for the use of clever amateurs, is the story of life in 
Siddell, a Pennsylvania co-educational collep:e. It deals with the vicissitudes and 
final triumph of the Siddell Football Eleven, and the humorous and dramatic 
incidents connected therewith. 

"The Touch-Down" has the true varsity atmosphere, college songs are sung, 
and the piece is lively and entertaining throughout. High schools will make no 
mistake in producing this play. We strongly recommend it as a high-class and 
well'Written comedy. Price, 30 Cents. 



HURRY, HURRY, HURRY. 

A comedy in three acts, by LeRoy Arnold. 5 males, 4 females. One 
interior scene. Costumes modern. Plays 2^ hours. 

The story is based on the will of an eccentric aunt. It stipulates that her 
pretty niece must be affianced before she is twenty-one, and married to her 
fiance within a yean, if she is to get her spinster relative's million. Father has 
nice notions of honor and fails to tell daughter about the will, so that she may 
make her choice untrammejed by any other consideration than that of true love. 
The action all takes place in the evening the midnight of which will see her 
reach twenty-one. Time is therefore short, and it is hurry, hurry, hurry, if she 
is to become engaged and thus save her father from impending bankruptcy. 

The situations are intrinsically funny and the dialogue is sprightly. The 
characters are natural and unaffected and the action moves with a snap such as 
should be expected from its title. Price, 30 Cents. 



THE VARSITY COACH. 

A three-act play of college life, by Marion Short, specially adapted 
to performance by amateurs or high school students. .5 males. 6 females, 
but any number of boys and girls may be introduced in the action of the 
pla3^ Two settings necessary, a college boy's room and the university 
campus. Time, about 2 hours. 

Like many another college boy. "Bob"' Selbv, an all-round popular college 
man, becomes possessed of the idea that athletic prowess is more to be desired 
than scholarship. He is surprised in the midst of a "spread" in his room in 
Regatta week by a visit from his aunt who is putting him through college. 
Aunt Serena, "a lady of the old school and the dearest little woman in the 
whole world," has hastened to make this A-isit to her adored nephew under the 
mistaken impression that he is about to receive the Fellowes prize for scholarship. 
Her grief and chagrin when she learns that instead of the prize Robert has 
received "a nink card," which is equivalent to suspension for poor scholarship, 
gives a touch of pathos to an otherwise jolly comedy of college life. How the 
repentant Robert more than redeems himself, carries off honors at the last, and 
in the end wins Ruth, the faitbf'O b'ttl'^ cveet^pp'-t of the "Prom" and the c'-iss- 
room makes a story of dramatic interest and brings out very clearly certain 
phases of modern college life. There are several opportunities for the introdnctJnn 
of coll'ege songs and "stunts." Price, 30 Coi.ts. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 



THE RETURN OF HI JINKS. 

A comedy In four acts, by Marion 'Short, author of "The Varsity 
Coach," "The Touch-Down," etc. 6 males, 8 females. Costumes modern. 
One interior scene. 

This comedy is founded upon and elaborated from a farce comedy in two acts 
written by J. H. Horta, and originally produced at Tuft's College. 

Hiram Poynter Jinks, a Junior in Hoosic College (Willie Collier type), and a 
young moving picture actress (Mary Pickford type), are the leading characters in 
this lively, modern farce. 

Thomas Hodge, a Senior, envious of the popularity of Jinks, wishes to think 
ip a scheme to throw ridicule upon him during a visit of the Hoosic Glee Club to 
jinks's home town. Jinks has obligingly acted as a one-day substitute in a 
moving picture play, in which there is a fire scene, and this gives Hodge his cue. 
He sends what seems to be a bona fide account of Jinks's heroism at a Hoosic 
fire to Jinks's home paper. Instead of repudiating his laurels as expected, Jinks 
decides to take a flyer in fame, confirms the fake story, confesses to being a hero 
and is adored by all the girls, to the chagrin and discomfiture of Hodge. Of 
course, the truth comes out at last, but Jinks is not hurt thereby, and his romance 
with Mimi Mayflower comes to a successful termination. 

This is a great comedy for amateurs. It is full of funny situations and is 
sure to please. Price, 30 Cents. 

JUNE. 

A most successful comedy-drama in four acts, by Marie Doran, author 
of "The New Co-Ed." "Tempest and Sunshine," "Dorothy's Neighbors," 
etc. 4 males, 8 females. One interior scene. Costumes modern. Plays 
2% hours. 

This play has a very interesting group of young people. June is an appealing 
little figure, an orphan living with her aunt. There are a number of delightful, 
life-like characters: the sorely tried, likeable Mrs. Hopkins, the amusing, haughty 
Miss Banks of the glove department, the lively Tilly and Milly, who work in the 
store, and ambitious Snoozer; Mrs. Hopkins's only son, who aspires to be Presi- 
dent of the United States, but finds his real sphere is running the local trolley 
car. The play is simplicity itself in the telling of an every-day story, and the 
scenic requirements call for only one set, a room in the boarding house of Mrs. 
Hopkins, while an opportunity is afforded to introduce any number of extra 
characters. Musical numbers may be introduced, if desired. Price, 30 Cents. 

TEMPEST AND SUNSHINE. 

A comedy drama in four acts, by Marie Doran. 5 males and 3 females. 
One exterior and three interior scenes. Plays about 2 hours. 

Every school girl has revelled in the sweet simplicity and gentleness of the 
characters interwoven in the charms that Mary J. Holmes commands in her 
story of "Tempest and Sunshine." We can strongly recommend this play as one 
of the best plays for high school production published in recent years. " 

Price, 30 Cents. 

(The Above Are Subject to Royalty When Produced) 
5 



P'S AND O'S 

A FARCE COMEDY 
IN ONE ACT 

By 

ANNIE NATHAN MEYER 



Copyright, 1921, by Annie Nathan Meyer 



New York 
4g|(^.MUEL FRENCH 
Publisher 
28-30 West 38th Street 



London 

Samuel French, Ltd. 

Publisher 

2G Southampton St., Strand 






"P's AND Q's" is fully protected by copyright, and all 
rights are reserved. ^ 

Permission to act, read publicly, or to make any use of 
it must be obtained from Samuel French, 28-30 West 38th 
Street, New York. 

It may be presented by amateurs upon payment of roy- 
alty of five dollars each performance, payable to Samuel 
French one w^eek before the date v^^hen play is given. 

Professional rates quoted on application. 

Whenever this play is produced the following notice 
must appear on all programs, printing and advertising for 
the play: Produced by special arrangement with Samuel 
French of New York. 



©GI.0 fifiSOS, 



'»'. 



P's and Q's 



PERSONS OF THE PLAY 

Originally produced at a special matinee given 
by the American Pen Women* at the Morosco 
Theatre, New York, December lo, 1920, with the 
following cast : 

Jessie Denslow Joan Maclean 

Harry Barman , Geoffrey Kerr 

Charley Stark Leslie Howard 

Mrs. Denslow Mrs. Thomas Whiffen 

Time. — Afternoon. 

Off-Stage Props. — 

Letter for Charley. 
Letter for Mrs. Denslow. 
Salver for Maid. 

Several small sheets of penciled nutes of the 
meeting, for Mrs. Denslow. 



* This play was one of the four winners of the compe- 
tition held by the New York Auxiliary. 



P's and O's 



Scene. — Library in Mrs. Denslow's house. En- 
trance to hall up L. (portieres). Entrance to 
inner room tip R. (door). Bookshelves between 
two entrances. Large window R. with window- 
seat. Fireplace l. with Morris .chair facing 
down stage. Library table L. c. with blotter, 
ink, one large quill or plume pen (one extra steel 
pen point), tzvo kinds of note paper and tablet 
of large paper on right side. Three or four 
tmopcned letters at right. Chair r. and one 
back of table. Settee R. zvith cushions. A book 
under cushion. 

(Sounds outside of voices, annoyed.) 

Jessie. (Entering. Pouting) I don't care — it's 
perfectly mean of you ! 

Harry (Following) But you're unreasonable ! 

Jessie. (Going tozvard settee r.) Nothing- of the 
sort! 

Harry. (Following to r. c.) Expect a woman 
to admit it ! I tell you I telegraphed. 

Jessie. You don't love me. 

Harry, (r. c. ) There you go again ! I come 
back expecting to find my best girl all smiles — I rush 
to the office to report — fly up here — and this is all 
the welcome I get ! Tears ! Temf)er ! Tears ! 
(Goes L. j 

Jessie. Well, I didn't think you'd neglect me so 
shamefully. 

5 



6 P's AND Q's 

Harry. Neglect you ? Good Lord ! You accuse 
me of neglecting you when I think I couldn't have 
been more attentive. 

Jessie. You call it attentive to go away for a 
whole week and never write me one single letter? 

Harry. But 

Jessie. And I wrote you three a day ! 

Harry. But I tell you I telegraphed you. 

Jessie. Telegraphed ! 

Harry. Yes, every time the train stopped — I 
dashed out — the porters grinning at me — it isn't my 
fault you didn't get them — I'd like to choke some of 
those long-eared station-masters — there was one fel- 
low, by Jov6 ! I gave half a dollar to run with it 

Jessie. Who said I didn't get them? 

Harry. What?! 

Jessie. (Flopping on settee r.J I got your old 
telegrams. 

Harry. (Back again to r. c.) You got my tele- 
grams? And you say I neglected you? Well, I like 
that ! Catch me breaking my neck next time for a 
girl. You must think I enjoyed sprinting platforms 
and hurdling hand-baggage ! 

Jessie. You b-broke your promise. 

Harry. What promise? 

Jessie. To write. 

Harry. But when a fellow telegraphs from every 
single station you needn't jump on him as if he'd 
clean forgotten you. Why, I hugged that telegraph 
blank till they guyed me — thought I was on the 

wrong side of the market (Chuckling) One 

fellow asked if it was twins. 

Jessie. (Softening) It luas very nice of you to 
send me all those telegrams. 

Harry. \To l.) Yes — I rather think it was. 

Jessie. But what good did telegrams do me ? 

Harry. \\' hat good ? What do you mean ? 



P's AND Q's 7 

Jessie. They weren't in your own handwriting-. 

Harry. Yes — but you know, you can't telegraph 
your own handwriting ! 

Jessie. That's just it — it was the writing of your 
own hand I wanted. 

Harry. (Sifting beside her on settee. Jessie 
grudgingly makes room for him. Trying to kiss her) 
That's very sweet of you, darhng. But really — 
aren't you a Httle exacting? 

Jessie. Exacting? To ask for just one little let- 
ter? 

Harry. But, my dear, if you were anxious, a 
telegram's so much quicker. 

Jessie. I expected by this time to have a whole 
batch of love-letters. 

Harry. (Laughing) Tied with a pink ribbon! 
Honest, old girl, I'm awfully sorry, but I'm no good 
at writing letters, an3^way. You don't understand 
how it is with a fellow — I mean — you get so used to 
dictating to a stenographer — you never take up a 
pen 'cept to sign things. 

Jessie. Pouring out your heart to a girl you love 
is different. 

Harry. I'm not much good on the pouring out 
business. (Trying to smooth things) But remem- 
ber my love's all bottled up right here. (Attempts 
to put his arm about her. She repulses him and then 
sucenmbs. They kiss) 

Jessie. (Fingering his coat-buttons ) Won't you 
write me just one teeny, weeny little love letter? 

Harry. (Laughing into her eyes) Want it as 
evidence? 

Jessie. (Startled) What do you mean ? 

Harry. In case of a breach of promise? 

Jessie. (Relieved) Oh, Harry! What an idea! 

Harry. (Jokingly) Well, you seem awfully anx- 
ious to get me to commit myself on paper! 



8 P's AND Q's 

Jessie. (Teasing) You will write me one — b, 
nice long" one — won't you? 

Harry, Sure, I will. 

Jessie. (Jumping up. Goes c.) Goody ! 

Harry. (Following her) The very next trip I 
take. 

Jessie. (Stopping mid-way) Oh, that won't do 
at all. 

Harry. Well, it won't do justice to the pink rib- 
bon — but I'll do my best. 

Jessie. (Sitting r. of fable l. c.) Oh, dear! — 
I 

Harry. (Tenderly ) You see, little woman, when 
I'm on the road it's such a hustle I don't get a mo- 
ment to myself, and I'm no ready writer, believe 
me ! I'd chew the pen from New York to Niagara 
and not get enough down so you'd see it. Now, my 
telegrams were works of art — they were condensed, 
yet meaty. 

Jessie. Oh, as telegrams go they were all right 
— but as I've told you a hundred times, it wasn't 
telegrams I vv^anted. 

Harry. They told you I was well. 

Jessie. It wasn't what I wanted. 

Harry. You w^anted to hear I wasn't well ? 

Jessie. (Rising and going to him very per- 
suasively) Oh, Harry! You don't understand! I 
want you to write me a letter — right away — now. 

Harry. (Astounded) Now? 

Jessie. Yes — now ! 

Harry. Now? When I'm just back? 

Jessie. Yes. 

Harry. (Putting his arm around her) Write 
you a letter when you're right here by my side? 
(Jessie nods. With concern — ) I say, little girl, did 
anything happen to you while I was away ? You're 
feelingf all rigfht? 



P's AND Q's 9 

Jessie. Perfectly well! 

Harry. Is it for a bet? 

Jessie. N-no. 

Harry. (Hugging her) Isn't a man in the hand 
worth two in the post ? 

Jessie. (Serious) I'm in earnest, dear. Won't 
you please do it for me? You've never written me 
a letter in 3^our whole life. 

Harry. But why now? I'm just back — after a 
whole week. I want to talk with you. 

Jessie. Oh, please, Harry, do it for me — as a 
favor ! (Pulling him l. of table) 

Harry. Well — since you've set your little heart 
on it. (Sits down L. of table, looks up mischiev- 
ously) Sure it isn't the breach of promise case? 
(Jessie laughs. Harry takes up the long quill pen 
and scratches away for a moment. Jessie peeps 
over his shoulder very anxiously; her hair tickles 
him on one side, quill on the -other. Throzving dozvn 
the pen) It's too silly — write to a girl who's in the 
same room. 

Jessie. (Running to door up R.) I'll go in the 
next room. 

Harry. Oh, that isn't what I meant at all. ( Jes- 
isiE leaves tip r., closing door. Harry seats himself 
again, sighs, forces himself to write — then reads 
aloud as he slowly writes) I long for a sight of 
your dear eyes — what slush ! Every moment passed 

from your side seems an eternity 

Jessie. (Peeping in from the next room) How 
are you getting along? 

Harry. (Rising, going to Jessie, back of table) 
Rotten! What's the use of floundering about for 
adjectives when I can tell you everything with a 
good hug (Starts to hug her) 

K Jessie. (Stopping him with a gesture) Oh, please 
go on! (Exits, closing door again, Harry sits 



10 P's AND* Q's 

again. A moment of silence, Harry painfully 
scratching away) 

Charley. {Speaking outside) Is Mr. Barman 
here? 

Maid. (Speaking outside) Yes, sir, he's in the 
library. 

Charley. (Entering up L.J Hello! (Goes to 

R. C.) 

Harry. (Looking up) Hello, Charley ! Where'd 
you spring from? 

Charley. You weren't at the office — chanced it 
up here. What're you doing ? Writing a letter ? 

Harry. No, boy — shaving. 

Charley. You are writing a letter. 

Harry. Yes. To Jessie. 

Charley. Oh — she's out, then? 

Harry. No. 

Charley. What ? 

Harry. (Indicating up R.j No. 

Charley. Then what the deuce are you writing 
a letter to her for? (Harry grunts) She's in 
there? (Harry grunts) Are you crazy? 

Harry. No, she is ! (Ibises, flings down pen, 
crumples letter and throws it in waste-paper basket. 
Charley laughs) Oh, it's awfully funny, isn't 
it! 

Charley. (Laughing) You say Jessie's in 
there (Pointing up R.J — and you sit here writ- 
ing a letter to her? 

Harry. Sweet reasonableness, isn't it? 

Jessie. (Entering) Hello, Charley ! 

Charley. Hello, Jessie ! 

Harry. Charley thinks it's ridiculous, too. 

Jessie. Wait till Charley knows the reason. 

Harry. Reason ! 

Jessie. Yes, reason. We'll leave it to Charley — 

Charley. No, thank you 



P's AND Q's II 

Jessie. — if he says I'm not perfectly justified, 
ril give in. 

Harry. All right ! Leave it to Charley. 

Charley. Catch me coming between two loving 
hearts! Good-night! (Starting to go up c.j 

Jessie. (Stopping him up c.) Please, Charley. 

Charley. To have both of you jump on me at 
the end! 

Jessie. No — ^lionest — if you're not perfectly satis- 
fled that I've got a good reason — I'll give in. 

Charley. (Coming down with Jessie in front of 
table) Sounds all right. 

Jessie. If you're satisfied, he's to go on writing 
that letter. 

Harry. (Going to fireplace L.J Fire ahead — if 
there is a reason. 

Jessie. (To Harry J Go in there! (Indicating 

up R.) 

Harry. What's that? 

Jessie. Just for a moment. 

Harry. Now look here — if it's a good reason you 
won't be ashamed of telling him before me. 

Charley. Yes — why can't you? 

Jessie. Goosey ! If I'd wanted him to know 
the reason I wouldn't have waited for you to come, 
would I? 

Charley. That's so. (Crossing c. to r. To 
Harry j Well, old fellow — ^you go and leave me to 
umpire. 

Harry. (Starting reluctantly towards the door) 
Well, no funny business, you understand. (Just as 
Jessie goes to whisper confidentially close to Char- 
ley, Harry turns suddenly at door. Jessie starts 
and drazi's hack) How're you going to persuade 
him? 

Jessie. (Shooing him off) I promise not to flirt 
with him — if that's what vou mean. 



12 P's AND Q's 

Charley. (Pompously) I swear to judge strictly 
on the merits of the case! Now — vanish! 

Harry. I vanish ! (Exits up r.) 

Charley. What's up ? 

Jessie. (Drawing Charley to c. Mysteriously) 
This isn't the first time I've been engaged. 

Charley. Oh, Lord ! Is that it ? 

Jessie. A year ago I was engaged to another 
fellow and Mother stopped it. 

Charley. Your mother? 

Jessie. Yes, the Professor didn't approve! 

Charley. The Professor? 

Jessie. I'm not going to let him spoil everything 
this time. 

Charley. That's right — but 

Jessie. I'm awfully fond of Harry — I just don't 
know what I'd do if 

Charley. But who is this Professor? 

Jessie. Why, Professor Darius Strons: — don't 
you know? (Charley shakes his head) The cali- 
graphist ? 

Charley. The k-k — what? 

Jessie. The caligraphist — the man they're all run- 
ning after to have him read their character from 
their handwriting. 

Charley. Well, but 

Jessie. Mother swears by him — wouldn't hire 
the best cook in New York if he warned her not 
to. 

Charley. I see — and (Moves to l. and 

turns. Looking over at the table) — ^you were try- 
ing to 

Jessie. Yes — to get a sample of his handwrit- 
ing. 

Charley. But Harry's a fine fellow through and 
through — what're you nervous about? 

Jessie. Nervous about the way he crosses his 



Fs AND O's 13 

"t's." (Charley laughs) It's no joke, I tell you 
— wait till Mother 

Charley. And you mean to tell me your mother 
would turn down a man like Harry because — be- 
cause 

Jessie. Because his writing slants down instead 
of up 

Charley. Nonsense ! 

Jessie. Because he forgets to dot his "i's." Be- 
cause he puts a dash for a period. Because the 
tails of his "y's" ^^^ too long — or too short ! 

Charley. Your Mother would deliberately 
w^reck your happiness ? 

Jessie. She'd think she was saving me from un- 
happiness. 

Charley. Preposterous ! A splendid fellow like 
Harry. 

Jessie. (Dryly ) So was Jimmy ! 

Harry. (Poking his head in) Say, aren't you 
two through yet? 

Charley. Almost. (Harry closes door again) 

Jessie. So now you know — I am unwilling to 
bank my happiness on a stroke of the pen 

Charley. Pen — penny wise and pound foolish ! 

Jessie. Oh, Charley! 

Charley. What are you going to do? 

Jessie. I kept putting Mother off, pretending I 
didn't care for him — expected to get a whole batch 
of letters from him while he was away and I'd see 
if it was safe to let her have one. 

Charley. How could you tell? 

Jessie. (Taking a book from behind cushion on 
settee R.J I got the Professor's book. I wasn't 
going to have it happen to me a second time. 

Charley. (Crosses to Jessie^ Why didn't you 
tell Harry the whole thing? 

Jessie. About Jimmy, too? 



14 P's AND Q's 

Charley. Oh, I see. 

Jessie. Besides, I didn't exactly like to have 

Harry think Mother so silly. 

Charley. Of course not. (Goes c. Calling) 
Harry! Oh, Harry! (Jessie hastily thrusts hook 
under cushion on settee. ■ Harry enters) Sorry, 
old man! 

Harry. (Coming down r. c. — jaunty, sure his 
pal has decided for him) To have kept me a pris- 
oner in there ? — Never mind, old chap ! 

Charley. (Pompously) No — sorry the verdict 
of the Court is against you. 

Harry. What? (Charley nods head) 

Charley. Yes, sir. (Jessie nods head. Harry 
looks from one to the other — business is zvorked up 
like two little mandarins nodding alternately) 

Harry. (Incredulous) She had a reason f A 
reason a man would recognize as one? 

Charley. Yep. 

Harry. A reason for asking me to sit down in 
that chair and write a letter to her when she's right 
in the next room? 

Charley. Yes, a very good reason. (Harry 
goes to Charley l. c. and looks at him closely) 

Jessie. You won't find any powder on his coat, 
if that's what you're looking for. (Charley m- 
stinctively brushes his hand over his shoulder. 
Harry takes a hair off Charley's coat — tiirns and 
looks at Jessie suspiciously, and with relief says — 
''Oh, blonder ) (If a blonde acts the part, Harry 
may say, ''Oh, brunette!") 

Charley. Oh, come, Harry, be a sport! You 
agreed to leave it to me. (Leads him to l. of table) 
Now sit right down there and behave. 

Harry. You expect me to write that letter now? 

Charley. Now. 

Harry. (Sitting down) Catch me leaving any- 



P's AND Q's 15 

thing to a pal again. (Takes up pen and selects a 
sheet of paper) 

Jessie. (Coming over to hack of table. Quickly) 
Don't take that paper. 

Harry. Doesn't match your pink ribbon? 

Jessie. (Taking the paper from him and giving 
him another sheet) That's ruled — better let your 
writing slant naturally — upzuard! 

Harry. Oh, let your writing slant naturally up- 
ward! (A moment' s silence zvhile he writes) Well 
— mine happens to slant naturally downward. 

Jessie. (To Charley, who is l. She stands 
hack of Harry on his L.j Prepare for the worst! 

Charley. (Aside to Jessie j Bad sign, eh? 

Jessie. (Whispering) Delicate health — melan- 
choly ! (To Harry j Short sentences ! (To Char- 
ley) Plenty of capitals! (To Harry j Use- as 
many "m's" as you can — and "d's." (To Charley J 
Small "d's" are so important. 

Harry. Yes, small "d's." Pll use a big "D," 
too, if you don't mind. 

Jessie. And — and — don't skimp your curves 
whatever you do ! 

Harry. My curves? (Laying dozvn his pen and 
turning around in disgust) What is this, anyway? 
A game ? 

Charley. Now — now — fire away, old chap — 
you've lost precious time already. (Beckoning to 
Jessie, who is inclined to look over Harry's shoul- 
der) Leave him alone — ^he'll do it quicker. (Takes 
her R. j 

Jessie. Pm so afraid Mother'U catch on first. 

Charley. She won't. 

Jessie. We've simply got to keep her from seeing 
a scrap of his writing till I know. 

Charley. Too bad you didn't confide in me. 

Jessie. But I expected to get a letter every day. 



i6 P's AND Q's 

Charley. By Jove! (Searches rapidly through 
his pockets) 

Jessie. What is it? • . 

Charley. Sh ! I got a letter from him. 

Jessie. You did? (Charley nods while still 
searching his pockets) While he was away ? 

Charley. Business — don't be jealous. Here 
it is ! (Jessie gets the book from under cushion on 
settee, sits on settee r. of Charley. Both bend over 
book excitedly) 

Jessie. Oh ! 

Harry. What're you two doing? 

Charley. Just looking at some photographs. 

Harry. Humph! How do you spell "recalci- 
trant" ? 

Charley. R-e-k-a-1-s-i (Impatiently, as he 

is anxious to watch JessieJ Oh, say mulish! 

Harry. I've said that already. 

Jessie. Oh ! 

Charley. What is it? 

Jessie. Oh, it's awful ! See this loop of the 
"d"? 

Charley. Well ? 

Jessie. Vain — egotistical — this crossing of the 
*'t" — lack of ardor — this closing of the "a" — stingy 
and — oh, dear — ^yes — ^this curve proves a quick tem- 
per ! 

Charley. Impossible ! You can tell all that ? 

Jessie. Oh ! 

Harry. (Looking up) What's the matter now? 

Charley. Oh, just laughing over the photo- 
graphs. (Charley emits a forced laugh. Jessie 
imitates him) 

Harry. (Rising and coming totvards them) 
Well, let me laugh, too. 

Charley. (Rising and intercepting him) You 
just go on! (To Jessiej What is it? 



P's AND Q's 17 

Jessie. Oh, this is awful! 

Mother. (Speaking outside) Did you tell her 
Vd be home? 

Jessie. (Quickly to Charley as the Maid's voice 
is heard in reply) Look out ! Here's Mother now ! 
(Quickly shoves the letter into Charley's hand, 
springs up, putting the book under cushion again. 
Charley quickly sticks letter in his pocket, rushes 
over to Harry and attempts to grab the letter he is 
writing) 

Harry. (Indignantly) Hey ! What're you do- 
ing? 

(Mother enters dozun c. Charley and Jessie r., 
Harry l. Pause. They all greet her, embar- 
rassed) 

Jessie. (Rushing across to greet her mother) 
Oh, Mother dear! How are you? 

Mother. I'm quite all right, dear. So you're 
back, Mr. Barman 

Harry. (Shaking hands) Yes, today. 

Mother. How d'do, Mr. Stark. 

Charley. How d'do, Mrs. Denslow. 

Mother. Excuse me a moment while I look over 
my mail. (Seats herself with her back to Jessie 
and Charley, r. of table) 

Harry. (Turns and sees Charley stealthily ap- 
proaching his letter. Jessie is also approaching it) 
What's the matter with you two? (Both beckon 
him to be silent. As Mother turns curiously, Jes- 
sie rushes to her on her R.J 

Jessie. How did the meeting go off ? 

Mother. Oh, splendidly — crowded. 

Harry. (To Charley, who is about to take let- 
ter) Hey, Charley, I'm not through with that let- 
ter! 

Mother (c. Turning to Harry l.) Been writ- 
ing a letter? 



i8 P*s AND Q^s 

Jessie, (r. Quickly attracting her attention) 
Did they elect you again? 

Mother. Oh, yes. They elected me again. (To 
Harryj Writing a letter, you say? 

Harry. Yes, Jessie insisted (Charley 

inakcs frantic signs to him zvhich he ignores) 

Mother. Insisted upon your writing? 

Charley. (Back of table) No, not at all! 

Jessie. Yes — ^but now Mother's home it isn't 
necessary. 

Harry. Well, I like that ! 

Mother. (Turning) Oh — a letter for me ? Let 
me have it. 

Jessie. N-no, not exactly — a — a message from — 
er — Mrs. Brown. 

Mother. Oh, she telephoned me when I was out ? 

Harry. I'll be damned ! 

Mother. Eh ? 

Charley. (Back of table. Quickly) Mr. Bar- 
man said he was — er — glad to be of assistance. 
(Gives Harry a kick) 

Jessie. Yes — she said she was so sorry you were 
out 

Mother. Nothing else? 

Jessie. No — er — she'll ring up again. 

Mother. Oh ! And so Mr. Barman was writing 
that message for me ? 

Harry. I 

Charley. (Over by Harry^ l. In his ear) Say 
yes, you fool ! 

Harry. (All at sea) I — I — ^yes, you fool ! 

Jessie. (Back of table. Reaching for letter) But 
— since you're here now 

Mother. (Trying to get the letter from Jessie^s 
hand) I do think, Jessie, since Mr. Barman was 
kind enough 

Jessie. (Quickly snatching letter from Mother's 



P's AND Q's' 19 

hand) But since you're home, Mother (Tears 

letter to bits and throws it into waste-paper basket) 

Harry. But — really — I do think 

Charley. Keep quiet! (Charley and Jessie 
both give sighs of relief. All three grinning at 
Mother. After a slight pause, looking at his zuatch 
and hustling) Isn't it time for us to go ? 

Harry. Go ? Where ? 

Charley. Why, our engagement — ^you know. 
(Dragging Harry up-stage) 

Harry. Hanged if I know! 

Jessie. (Going up-stage with them) Yes, it's too 
bad you must go! (Harry looks from Jessie to 
Charley in bewilderment) 

Mother. (Dryly) Perhaps, instead of keeping 
that important engagement, Mr. Barman, you'll be 
good enough to do me a favor? 

Harry. (Coming down l.) Certainly! 

Mother. (Taking some papers from her bag) 
The minutes of the meeting — would you mind copy- 
ing them for me ? 

Harry. Of course — with pleasure. 

Jessie. (Coming down r.) Oh ! 

Charley. (Coming down r. behind Jessie, mop- 
ping his brow) Oh, my Lord ! 

Mother. (Turning) What's the matter ? 

Jessie. (Coming back of table l. of Mother j 
Well — Mr. Barman came to see me 

Charley. (Coming r. c. Anxiously ) You see, 
he's just back, Mrs. Denslow — and they're naturally 
— ha-ha 

Mother. (Looking up inquiringly) "Naturally — 
ha-ha" ? 

Charley. Won't you let me copy them ? 

Mother. (Stiffly) Not at all, Mr. Stark. I pre- 
fer to have Mr. Barman do it for me — if you don't 
mind. 



20 P's AND Q's 

Harry. I insist upon doing it! 

Charley. But — he writes so poorly ! 

Harry. Huh! I suppose you think you write 
better ! 

Jessie. (Leaning over Mother^ Let me do it 
for you, Mother. 

Mother. (Ironically) Why, you're all tumbUng 
over each other to help me ! Come, Mr. Barman. 
(Jessie and Charley, hack of Mother, frantically 
wave to Harry to stop) 

Harry. (Sitting down, looking puzzled from 
Jessie to Charley^ All ready. 

Jessie. (Rushing hack of tahle hefore Harry 
can hegin) Here's a nice new pen. (As she hands 
it to Harry^, she stahs him zvith it in the right hand) 

Harry. Ow-w-w ! 

Mother. How awkward ! 

Charley. (Rushing l. of Harry j You're hurt ! 
It's bleeding ! (While Harry protests it is nothing, 
Charley takes out his handkerchief and hinds up 
the wounded hand carefully zvith Jessie's solicitous 
assistance. Mother looks on, annoyed) It would 
never do in the world to use this hand ! 

Harry. Nonsense — a pin-prick! 

Charley. Oh — blood-poisoning might set in ! 

Jessie. Must be careful ! 

Harry. (Trying to rise — promptly shoved down 
again by Charley j You two have gone crazy ! 

Charley. Won't be able to write for days ! 

Harry. (Starting to rise) Get out — ^you 

Charley. (Firmly holding him down) No you 
don't ! (Savagely ) No t — for — days I 

Jessie. (In a little voice) Not for days! 

Mother. Well, if you can't write now 

(Looks up and sees Maid, zvho has entered with let- 
ter on tray) Oh, Mary, a letter for me? (Takes 
it as she says) Maybe it's the letter I've been ex- 



P's AND Q's 21 

pecting. (Rises) I'll be back in a minute. (Exits 
up lJ 

(Note. — In case part of Maid is omitted, have 
Mother go up l. and call to Maid: ''Mary, 
didnt any other letters cornef" Voice of Maid 
outside, ''Yes, madam, one has just come:" 
Mother, turning to others, 'Til be back in a mo- 
ment — maybe that is the letter I've been ex- 
pecting." ) 

(Jessie goes r., looking after her mother.) 

Harry. (Rising as Charley releases his hold) 
Well, what's the matter with you two, anyway? 
First you're both determined I should write, then 
3^ou're both determined I shouldn't. 

Jessie. (Going quickly tozvards him) If you ever 
hope to gain Mother's consent 

Harry. Well, wasn't I trying to be nice to her — 
it's you wouldn't let me. 

Charley. Well, the fact of the matter is 

Jessie. Hush ! Mother ! — Whisper it ! 

(Charley rushes with Harry across room, grabs 
hook from behind cushion and talks to him. zvith 
back to audience, gesticidating violently and 
pointing to book. Obviously Charley cannot 
repeat the entire secret at risk of boring the au- 
dience ; therefore, he must say just a fczv zvords 
to give realism to his explanation. Much of it 
must be done quickly in dumb show, but the 
audience should get these words spoken by — 

Charley. Character — handwriting — Professor — 
they believe in it 

Harry. (Suddenly comprehending) Oh — I see 
— chiropody ! 



22 P's AND Q's 

Charley. No — no — no ! 

Jessie. (Coming down) Yes, it's all true — 

quick (Taking the book from Charley and 

opening it) There's no time to be lost — ^take off 

that bandage and write (Drags him to chair l. 

of table) Write for your life 

Harry. (Bewildered) But (Charley 

roughly unwinds the bandage. His roughness in 
doing this must be a complete contrast to the finicky 
care of it in binding it up) 

Jessie. If you ever hope to get Mother's consent 
to marry me, do as I say. (Jessie stands over 
Harry l., book in hand; Charley on his R. j Now, 
then — thick, heavy down-strokes 

Harry. (Repeating after her) Thick, heavy 
down-strokes 

Jessie. That's right! (Consulting book. To 
Charley j Great tenacity of purpose ! (To Harry J 
Slant upward 

Harry. Slant upward 

Charley. Yes, look out for that tendency to mel- 
ancholy. 

Jessie. Don't skimp your curves 

Harry. Oh, no, mustn't skimp my curves 

Charley, Go strong on the generosity. 

Jessie. Cross your "t's" firmly, but not too high — 

Harry. That right? 

Jessie. No, a little more than that — that's more 
like it — no — let me show you. (Guides his hand as 
he writes, leaning across him) 

Harry. (Jumping up impatiently. Jessie throws 
her arms around him as he rises) We can't put this 
thing over — it's no use trying. 

Charley. (Shoving him down again) Cheer up ! 
Sit down! 

Jessie. Yes, you will — with a little patience. 

Harry. (His arms around her waist, looking up 



P's AND Q's 23 

ut her) Patience! What are you going to do if 
my writing doesn't come up to the scratch? You 
wouldn't turn me down on account of an old hand- 
writing professor? 

Jessie. (Quite tragically) I won't marry you 
without Mother's consent. 

Harry. If you really loved me 

Jessie. (Going to fireplace, nearly in tears) Oh, 
Harry, that isn't fair ! 

Charley. See here ! You're wasting precious 
time — get to work ! We'll corner every virtue that 
ever lurked in a dash or a curve — Darius has the 
surprise of his life coming to him ! 

Harry. Still, I think if Jessie really loved me 

(Jessie bursts into tears. Harry turns swiftly, 
jumping np and taking her in his arms) Oh, my 
darling — don't cry ! 

(Charley goes r. comically. Sees Mother coming, 
tries to warn them.) 

Mother. (Entering with a letter in her hand. 
Coming dozvn c, looking tozvards Harry and Jesstej 
Well ! I'm glad to see you two've settled it. (The 
tzvo quickly spring apart) 

Jessie, (^l.) Yes, Mother 

Harry, (^l. Astounded ) Then you're willing? 
You don't disapprove of me? 

Mother, (c.) Disapprove? Disapprove? Why 
should I? 

Harry. (Straightening his shoulders) Yes, in- 
deed, why should you? 

Mother. I'm charmed. 

•Charley, (^r. Pumping her hand) Fine ! Fine ! 

Mother. Jessie perhaps told you, Mr. Barman, 
that I believe one can read character by the hand- 
writing? 



24 P's AND Q*s 

Harry. (Embarrassed) Eh — ^yes — no — er — that 



is- 



Charley. (Briskly coming to his rescue) Ah, 
Mrs. Denslow, have no fears on that score. Harry 

— as soon as his finger is all right (Turns and 

notices the bandage is off Harry's finger. Quickly 
tosses Harry his handkerchief behind Mother's 
back. Harry hurriedly wraps it around his finger) 
— will hand you a specimen of his handwriting 
which will convince you 

Mother. That, I'm glad to say, is not neces- 
sary. 

All. (Astounded) What ! 

Charley. Not necessary — what do you mean? 

Mother. (Smiling) No, I got ahead of you all. 
(To /essie) I know, Jessie, you've been trying to 
get hold of his writing first — that's why you were 
so disappointed he only telegraphed. (To CharleyJ 
And you were doing your best to prevent me — but 
I've beaten you all ! 

Jessie. (Frightened) How do you mean? 

Charley. You 

MoTHEB. (Triumphantly zvaving a letter) Yes — 
a letter of his! (All three show consternation. 
Charley's hand mechanically opens and shuts as if 
wanting to grab it) 

Charley. (The first to recover) But I thought 
you said you were delighted to welcome Harry as 
your son-in-law ! 

Mother. Certainly I am. (Turning to Harry ^ 
I'm glad to say you're one to whom I can safely 
trust my daughter's happiness. 

Harry. (Bewildered, swallozving hard) That's 
fine. (Goes up to Mother and kisses her. Takes 
Jessie's arm in his) 

Mother. Do you remember before you went 
away contributing a dollar to that Scotch widow who 



P's AND Q's 25 

wrote you that her only son had been killed in the 
trenches ? 

Harry. (Eagerly) Yes — of course — but I was just 
leaving — and (Charley signals him to stop) 

Mother. (Triumphantly) Well — / was that 
Scotch widow 

Harry. You ? 

Mother. Yes — and I don't owe you the dollar, 
either ! I gave it to the Professor for reading your 
handwriting. 

Harry. Oh ! 

Mother. (Holding up letter) It was worth it, 
believe me ! Here's his report : "Honesty — will- 
power — generosity — strong friendship" 

Harry. (Meekly) j\Iay I see that letter, Mrs. 
Denslow ? 

Mother. Certainly. (Hands letter to him) And 
now I'll take off my things and then we'll telephone 
a few friends. You'll stay to dinner, of course? 

Harry. Thank you. (Glanees at letter, stuffs if 
in pocket) 

Mother. (Turning to CharleyJ And you? 

Charley. Delighted. (Aceoinpanies Mother to 
door up R.^ bows her out. Just before she leaves, she 
turns around and gives a little satisfied glance at 
Jessie and HarryJ 

Jessie. (While Charley escorts Mrs. Denslow 
to the door; in a low voice to Harryj I can't un- 
derstand it at all. 

Harry. Never mind — she isn't against me — ^that's 
the great thing! (Charley returns and stands gaz- 
ing benevolently at them) (^Note. — This scene is 
played a little extravagantly, but not too broad) 
Oh, go away — read a book — write some more let- 
ters, you're so good at it — get out! 

Charley. (Folding his arms, melodramatically) 
I — go away ? That's good ! Ha ! 



26 Ps AJSrD Q*s 

Harry. Well, don't stand there grinning like a 
Cheshire cheese— I mean cat. 

Charley. How can I help it when I gaze on you 
— my handiwork ! 

Harry. What's that? 

Charley. I hold you two in the hollow of my 
hand. 

Harry. Oh, get out ! 

Charley. You're utterly in my power — ^you can't 
make a move without my permission. 

Jessie. (Who has been staring in wonderment ) 
What on earth does he mean? 

Charlie. I shall not leave you day or night — I 
shall stick to you like your shadow — if I leave your 
side for a single moment — you are LOST ! 

Jessie. (Clinging to Harry j Oh, Harry! 

Harry. Nonsense ! He's joking. 

Charley. Oh, I am, am I? You'll see if it's a 
joke or not. (Seats hiinscif on settee r., greatly at 
ease, crosses his knees and folds his arms) 

Harry. (Going to put his arm about Jessie, turns 
on Charley^ Say, I won't have you sticking around 
when we want to be alone. 

Charley. (Grimly) Oh, won't you! 

Harry. No, I won't! 

Charley. (Easily) That's so — come to think of 
it — it would be rather a bore to sit around and see 
you two spoon. (With sudden determination) I'll 
permit you to do only a certain amount of it. 

Harry. Huh! You'll permit! 

Charley. I'll allow you just two hugs a day — 
coming and going. 

Jessie. (Crossing over to Charley, indignantly) 
Say, whom am I marrying, I'd like to know ! 

Harry. Yes, so should I. 

Charley. (Suavely) It is a bit puzzling, isn't 
it? 



P*s AND Q's 27 

Jessie, Not at all — I'll have you know Tm mar- 
rying Harry. 

Charley. Ah — -you think you are — but your 
Mother thinks you're marrying all those noble quali- 
ties revealed in that letter. 

Jessie. That's right — -I am. (Going to Harry 
ajid putting her arms around him) 

Charley. You are, are you? (Jumping up) 
Well — / wrote that letter! 

Jessie. "That letter ?" — Oh, you don't mean 

Charley. Yes, I do. 

Harry. Nonsense ! Don't you believe him — ^he's 
just jealous. 

Charley. Show her that letter in your pocket. 
(Harry hesitates) Show it to her, I say! (Harry 
reluctantly digs down into his pocket and brings out 
the letter which Jessie's mother handed him) 

Jessie. (Quickly examining the letter) Why, it 
isn't anything like Harry's writing! 

Charley. (Preening) You heard what the 
learned Professor said, "Honesty — will-power — 
generosity" — is it likely ? (Ends with an expressive 
gesture) 

Harry. Oh, shut up! (To Jessie j You see, 
dear, it was like this — 1 was just leaving town — 
and 

Charley. And the cold-hearted brute threw the 
poor widdy's appeal into the scrap-basket. It was 
I — I who rescued it — wrote a nice, gushy letter and 
enclosed the dollar. 

Harry. Well, what are you making such a fuss 
about? It was my dollar. 

Charley. And it was your name, wasn't it? 
(Harry can think of no adequate reply to this) And 
just suppose I hadn't rescued that letter — and 
hadn't signed your name to it and enclosed your 
dollar — ^nice kettle of fish you two'd have been in!. 



28 P's AND Q's 

Harry. Nice kettle of fish we're in now — having 
you tag after us all the time ! 

Charley. (Coolly) Yes — and you'll be mighty 
nice to me, too ! I'm not going to stand much from 
you two — ^you'll have to mind your "P's and Q's," I 
tell you — or it's all up with you. One mis-step, Mr. 
Harry, and I'll get your girl ! 

Jessie. (Stamping her foot) You will not ! 

Charley. (Patting his chest) Do you think 
your mother will permit such a paragon of penman- 
ship to get away from the family ? Do you want me 
to show her this? (Bringing out from his pocket 
Harry's letter, and comparing it zvifh the one Jessie 
holds in her hand) Look — just look on this letter 
and then on that ! Look at the noble way in which 
that slants upwards — the generous curves — the ardor 
in the dotting of that "i" ! And look — just look at 
the melancholy in this terrible slant — observe the 
awful temper in this "r" — and this "y" — absolutely 
no spine! (Melodramatically) Woman ! would you 
marry a man without a spine? 

Jessie. (Desperately) I don't care ! He can dot 
his **i's" and cross his "t's" any old way he likes. I 

love Harry (Flinging her arms around him, 

and looking over her shottlder at Charley^ And I 
don't love you ! 

Charley. (Pretending to fear his hair out in 
despair) What's the use? A life spent in blame- 
less loops and impeccable curves — and look at me ! 
The man who commits all the caligraphic crimes 
in the calendar — he — he gets the beautiful girl ! 
(Throws himself dejectedly on the settee R.) 

Harry. (Putting his arms about JessieJ There 
you are ! What's left of your mother's pet theories 
now? (Crosses over r. and stands by Charley^ 
Just look at him — the wonderful caligraphic cherub! 
He has us in his power — so he uses it! "Generos- 



P's AND Q's 29 

ity" — pooh! (Charley starts) He threatens to 
give me away if I don't do just as he Hkes — 
^'friendship" — bah! (Chari^ey starts) That — that 
miserable, grinning trickster — that Jim-the-Penman 

— is considered a safe bet — while I — I (Putting 

Jiis hand to his forehead in despair) Oh, it's too 
much ! (Strides across room and sinks into Morris 
chair l. by fireplace) 

Jessie. (Stands looking from one to the other — 
goes towards Harryj You're right, Harry. 
(Quickly rnns to Harry, throzvs herself on her knees 
and looks up at him) If the worst comes to the 
worst — and Mother finds out — I'll run away with 
you — we'll elope ! (Looking off into space melo- 
dramatically) I must live my life! 

Harry. (Rising and putting his arm about her, 
proudly) Ah — there's my brave girl — my darling! 

Charley. (Smiles, rises and crosses genially) 
That's all very well at a pinch — an elopement's all 
right — but you might as well wait and get the wed- 
ding presents ! 

Harry. Ha ! 

Charley. They'll come in handy to make the 
cook's room attractive, anyway ! 

Jessie. (Seriously — looking up at HarryJ The 
cook ! We must please the cook ! 

Harry. Please the cook ! I know — we'll give her 
Charley ! 

Quick Curtain 



THE REJUVENATION OF AUNT MARY. 

The famous comedy in three acts, by Anne Warner. 7 males, 6 
females. Three interior scenes. Costumes modern. Plays 2^4 hour ^ 

This is, a genuinely funny comedy with splendid parts for "Aunt ^_j.„ >• 
"Jack," her lively nephew; "Lucinda," a New England ancient maid of al' lu . 

"Jack's" three chums; the Girl "Jack" loves; "Joshua," Aunt Mary^^ hired 
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"Aunt Mary" was played by May Robson in New York and on to^^^ ^ 
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MRS. BUMSTEAg.'^EIGH. 

'<TV^ T^M^^"^ ^^^^^y; 'in three acts, by Harry James Smith, au)>ror of 
J'T he ^'t\rov-M.3ide Man." 6 males, 6 females. One interior sce»e. Cos- 
tumes modern. Plays 2% hpurs. / 

Mr. Smith chose foi^ his initial comedy _ the complications arr/ing from the 
endeavors of a social ^limber to land herself in the altitude peopl^ by hyphenated 
names— a theme permitting innumerable complications, according to the spirit of 
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This most successful comedy was toured for several seasons by Mrs. Fiske 
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/ 

MRS. TEMPLE'S TELEjS^AM. 

.\ most successful farce in three acts, by Frank Wyatt and William 
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three ac\s. Costumes modern. Plays 3^ hours. , ■ -- 

"Mrs. Teiriple's Telegram" is a sprightly farce in which there is an abund- 
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noticed by Sir VV^lter Scott, "Oh, what a tangled web we Vveave when first we 
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There is not a duIi moment in the entire farce, and from the time the curtain 
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THE NEW CO-ED. 

A comedy in four acts, by Marie Doran, author of "Tempest and / 
Sunshine," etc. Characters, 4 males, 7 females, though any number of/ 
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'and one exterior scene, but can be easily played in one interior scene. 

*ostumes modern. Time, about 2 hours. 
I 

e^j^^ The theme of this play is the coming of a new student to the college, her 
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Others iiav^J^ three especially good girls' parts, Ld'tty, Madge and Estelle, but 
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"^.^ Price, 30 Cents. 

<'The Above Are SU „ . _ 

''Hject to Royalty When Produced) 



DOROTHY'S NI 



LIBRARY OF 



■W 



ill ans 




A brand new comedy in four act5, a Ai™"""nii«iiiii 
New Co-Ed," "Tempest and Sunshine," zn":^JtB.Q29 
ales. 7 females. The scenes are extremely easj 
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Costumes modern. Plays 2^ hours. 



537 0"'# 



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strib-ut 
Back of th - tj 

a sound moral in tms 



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- comedy situation and snappy dialogue there is good logic anrl 
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It is a 



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' ■ Price, 30 Ceni 



MISS SOMEBODY ELSE. 

A modern play in four acts by Marion Short, author of "The Touch- 
dovv^n," etc.^ 6 males, 10 females. Two interior scenes. Costumes moH 
ern. Plays 2% hours. 



This delightful comedy has gripping dramatic moments, unusual charact< 
types, a striking and original plot and is essentially modern in theme and treai 
nient. The story concern.'^ the adventures of Constance Darcy, a multi-millioi 
aire's young daughter. Coustance embarks on a trip to find a young man win 
had been in her father's employ and had stolen a large sum of money. Sh 
almost succeeds, when suddenly all traces of the young man are lost. Ay^^* 
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. a'^'sjst_ Ib-?"^ through motives benevolent, she determines to sink her O'^-.v'^.^" 
cratic personai^^j in that of a refined but humble little Irish waitre."/^* ,^^,^ ^ 
family that are in want. She not only carries her scheme to succes^ 
the family, but finds romance and much tense and lively adveivi 
period of her incognito, aside from capturing the young man vv^ 
her father. The story is full of bright comedy lines and dr^f'*^^|^^ J^^ ^^ 
is hjghly recommended for amateur production. This i" 
dies we have ever offered with a large number of female 



assistmg 
during the . 
had defrauded 

situations an^ 
come 
The dialog'.i. 



is bright and the play is full of action from start to ^Js^^and ^jj" """""^"^ 
it. This is a great comedy for high schools and ' ^ 



story will please the parents and teachers. We strong. j. 



eges, and the wholesonv 
^•" recortimend it. 

Price, 30 Cent- 



PURPLE AND FINE LINEN. 



An exceptionally pretty comedy of Puritan New England, in tht 
acts, by Amita B. Fairgrieve and Helena Miller. 9 male, 5 female cha. 
acters. 

Iniria 



This is the Lend A Hand Smitk, College prize play. It i 
for amateurs, is rich in character portrayal of varied types 
while thoroughly pleasing. 

(Th, Above Are Subject to Roy^in ' ^hen Produced) 




1 is not top 
Priee. 



\ LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

015 929 537 #•! 



